The New Personality Self-Portrait: Why You Think, Work, Love and Act the Way You Do by John Oldham & Lois B. Morris

Author:John Oldham & Lois B. Morris [Oldham, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780307818690
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2012-11-07T08:00:00+00:00

HELP!

The work of the psychodynamic psychotherapist is to enable Passive-Aggressive people to locate the inner sources of their anger and hurt. Very often their parents gave them extremely contradictory, inconsistent, or confused messages about what was expected of them, or tried to control their lives. Others reveal a childhood in which their parents were indifferent to them or clearly preferred another sibling, or in which a parent was openly hostile. Alcoholism is a common thread in Passive-Aggressive family backgrounds.

In cognitive therapy, the therapist will help the person to confront maladaptive attitudes and assumptions, such as: “Being direct with people could be dangerous.” Behavioral forms of treatment, such as assertiveness training, may also help some people with this personality disorder to change entrenched patterns.

Whatever the approach, the therapist will require great patience and fortitude, for these individuals resist the efforts of their therapists just as they resist the demands of everyone else in their lives. Passive-Aggressive individuals have little perspective on the sources of their problems. The skilled clinician will need constantly, carefully, and kindly to confront the patient on the real reasons why he or she is late, is withholding payment, is critical, or is argumentative. Group or family therapy may help the Passive-Aggressive person and therapist face some inescapable truths. The therapist must be able to deal constructively with his or her own anger that these patients inspire. If the Passive-Aggressive person has the strength, courage, and faith to begin to see his or her behavior for what it’s worth, there is great hope of change.

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